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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29241129">Nandemonaiya</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Somewhere_In_NeverlandXx/pseuds/Somewhere_In_NeverlandXx'>Somewhere_In_NeverlandXx</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Nandemonaiya [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Original Work</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Feels, Family, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Human/Vampire Relationship, M/M, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Original Character(s), Original Universe, Slow Burn, Soulmates, Time Skips</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 10:20:20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>13,183</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29241129</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Somewhere_In_NeverlandXx/pseuds/Somewhere_In_NeverlandXx</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>For a little more time with you, I would never dream again.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Yuudai Katsua/Makoto Hirano</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Nandemonaiya [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2147127</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. You don't have to understand feelings to feel them</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>„Looks like it will rain tonight.” The red haired boy was staring up at the night sky; there were no stars to be seen right now, probably hidden away by large dark clouds, all of them just waiting to start pouring rain down to the ground, before they could dissolve again –and open up the sky.<br/>
“I told you to stop fooling around so much.” The blonde boy walking right beside him answered, sighing as he was walking with his hands in his jacket’s pockets. Makoto pursed his lips, giving Yuudai a small pout.<br/>
“We had fun, though.” Koranai’s cheerful voice made both of them shift her gaze towards her. The girl was walking in front of them, her hands intertwined behind her back. She was half turned, giving the two boys a bright smile.</p><p>The three of them had spent the whole day together, walking around in a larger town, which was over two hours walk away from their homes.<br/>
They knew each other for years now, since they were little kids – after all, their homes were not that far away from one another, and with Makoto’s and Yuudai’s parents being friends the two of them had grown up together, meeting Kora only some years later.<br/>
And even now, as they were growing into young adults, they were still close, often spending time together.<br/>
It had already gotten dark when they had finally decided to start heading home, well, the blonde had actually insisted much sooner that they should return, but Kora and Makoto had not listened, but instead decided they still had to get some mochi ice cream, walking for another thirty minutes just to find a shop which was selling it. The girl had instantly wanted the strawberry flavored ones, while Makoto had taken vanilla. Yuudai had awkwardly stood beside the two of them, chewing his mint gum, while watching them savor their newest acquisition.  </p><p>It was always like this with them.<br/>
From time to time, watching the two of them being like this – so close, made his heart ache for a moment. It was strange, the blonde couldn’t really explain it or pinpoint the exact reason why he felt this way. He wasn’t jealous. No, it was nothing like this, he was sure of that.<br/>
Maybe it was because he knew how this would play out eventually. The two of them would wake up one day, having feelings for one another. This was how it worked, right? Maybe Makoto even already had them, considering the way he was acting around her.<br/>
The red haired had always been the more outgoing type, even when he and Makoto had been children. But even so, the way he acted with Kora; he wasn’t that close to anyone, well, besides Yuudai of course.<br/>
The blonde bit his lip. <em>It will happen eventually. Just get it over with, will you?</em><br/>
Koranai had turned back forward, watching the road in front of her as she strolled happily.<br/>
Soon they would get to the point where they would have to split up, Kora having to take one way and the two of them the other leading to their respective homes.<br/>
Yuudai swallowed. <em>Get it over with, so this strange feeling which I have can stop.</em><br/>
He suddenly grabbed Makoto’s arm, making the other boy slow down. The red haired immediately turned to him, giving him a confused look. “Yuu, what’s-“<br/>
“Listen.” Yuudai spoke quietly, composed, trying his best to keep his voice low enough so that Kora would not notice their talk. He darted his eyes to the girl for a moment, relieved to see that she didn’t notice his action – she was still walking carelessly, her eyes fixed on the road.<br/>
He sighed. “Bring her home tonight.” He gave Makoto a stern expression as he whispered to the other.<br/>
The red haired raised an eyebrow at his best friend. “Huh? Where did that come from we’re always splitting up at that point-“<br/>
“Yeah, so let’s not let her walk alone at this late hour.”<br/>
Makoto flashed him a smile. “And here I was thinking you wanted to get home as fast as possible. Fine, we’ll go with her-“<br/>
“You.” Yuudai emphasized his point once again. “You’ll go with her.”<br/>
This made the red haired even more confused. “But-“<br/>
“Just use your chance and get it over with, Mako.” Yuudai clicked his tongue. His tone had shifted, suddenly a bit harsher than before.  He didn’t want it to come out that way – the blonde didn’t even understand why he had lost his temper for a moment. It was strange.<br/>
Makoto sighed. “I don’t get it.” He averted his gaze, staring forward as they kept moving. His expression was troubled – he seemed hurt.<br/>
Yuudai looked away. He thought about what he could say for a moment, but Makoto’s sudden words pulled him out of his thoughts.<br/>
“Fine. I’ll bring her home. We’ll see each other tomorrow then I guess.”  His voice was cold, his gaze still fixed on the road, as they were slowly catching up to the girl – Koranai giving them a confused expression.<br/>
“What’s the matter?” she asked, her brows knitted.<br/>
But Makoto brushed it off, looking up and smiling at her, “Nothing. C’mon, I’ll bring you home today.”<br/>
She raised an eyebrow. “Why?” Kora then looked at Yuudai who was still dodging their gazes.<br/>
“It’s already late. You shouldn’t walk around all alone at this hour.”<br/>
Koranai scoffed. “We both know that I can perfectly defend myself, Ma-ko-to.” Her mocking voice made the red haired pout immediately.<br/>
“Good night, you two.” Yuudai suddenly spoke up, interfering in their clattering.<br/>
Just now did both Kora and Makoto realize that it was already time to turn to different directions.<br/>
“Good night!” Koranai waved at the blonde. She looked over to Makoto then, murmuring, “You can go home, too, you know.”<br/>
“I know. But this time I'll come with you.” Makoto sighed. The boy then watched Yuudai. He bit his lip, “Good night, Yuu.”<br/>
Raising an arm the blonde made a small movement, waving back at them without facing them one more time. </p><p>The ache.  <em>It was here again.</em>

</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> “Did you two fight or something?”<br/>
Finally, after some minutes of silence, with the two of them walking side by side, Koranai asked him, tilting her head in his direction. “I mean I was not paying attention for a moment and then you’re both avoiding one another why-“<br/>
“We didn’t fight.” Makoto cut her off. “It was nothing…I think.”<br/>
“You think?”<br/>
“I don’t know.” He pressed his lips into a tight line. “He was acting strange for a moment. It was really unusual.” Makoto raised his hand, brushing through his hair slowly. “Maybe he was tired.”<br/>
“Maybe.” Koranai shrugged. “If you did something stupid make sure to apologize.”<br/>
Makoto scoffed, “Why would you think I was the one who did something stupid?!”<br/>
“Because you’re you.” She laughed.<br/>
The boy rolled his eyes, but hummed in approval nevertheless after a some time. “Guess you’re right. I’ll find out tomorrow.”<br/>
“Good.”<br/>
With that, the two of them kept walking a bit faster – after all, they both wanted to get home before it would start to rain. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p><em>Fire.</em>

It was the first thing they saw.<br/>
Houses were blazing in fire, while freezing cold breezes hit the two of them, Koranai’s eyes widening immediately after they had cut the last corner, exposing the sight of the village the Takasu clan was living in.<br/>
There was a fight going on.<br/>
“What-“ Makoto stared, his whole body tensed immediately.<br/>
Koranai couldn’t say anything, her eyes were blown wide open, while her hands trembled;  the girl couldn’t believe what she was seeing. </p><p>Then, all of a sudden, it hit her. “My family-“ Her voice cracked slightly, Makoto catching her desperation instantly.<br/>
“I have to get to them-“ Without even waiting for the boy’s response Koranai started running – as fast as she could, dashing forward towards the turmoil.<br/>
“Kora wait-“ Makoto screamed after her, but she didn’t react, kept running, so the boy rushed after her. He would definitely not let her walk into a fight like this without him. </p><p>Entering the village Kora nearly choked, she froze immediately while tears started to form in the corners of her eyes.<br/>
There were bodies lying on the ground.<br/>
And these were not just bodies – they were people she knew, people belonging to her clan. Their blood was flowing on the ground, mixing with the flames – the resulting fume making her stomach turn.<br/>
Someone grabbed her arm. “Kora-“<br/>
Shocked, she turned, expecting the worst – but luckily it was a pair of familiar deep blue eyes; Makoto had caught up to her.<br/>
“Mako-“ her voice cracked. She didn’t know what to say. But she also didn’t need to say anymore – he understood.<br/>
The red haired pulled her along, they both started running again, extremely alert about their surroundings, as they headed for one particular house – Koranai’s home.<br/>
It was not that far away from the village’s entrance and so it was possible for them to arrive pretty quickly, luckily even avoiding the enemy up to this point.<br/>
The main battle seemed to take place even further down the village as it seemed, since at this point, they could hear screaming and shouting, loud blasts probably resulting from her clan’s ice abilities. Koranai tore the door to her house open, “Tsume?!” she screamed. The girl tried to hold back her tears as she rushed inside, followed closely by Makoto. Having received no answer she tried again, “Daiki?! Yuso?!”<br/>
“Anyone still in here?!” Makoto joined in on her shouting.<br/>
“Mum?! Dad?!”<br/>
She still received no answer. Running around, she opened every closed door, checking different rooms, while Makoto did the same. There was no sight of any of them. She started to panic. Panting, she nearly crashed into the boy, as she wanted to enter a room he had just checked.<br/>
“Kora-“<br/>
“They’re not here-“ she was trembling, “where are they, I can’t find anyone-“<br/>
“Kora!”, he grabbed her shoulders, making her look at him, “We’ll find them okay? Don’t worry okay-“<br/>
An extremely loud blast made him stop talking immediately. Something this loud must have either been a gigantic attack, or – and that was what Makoto was assuming, it was near to them.<br/>
Taking Koranai’s hand, he started running again; they used her porch door to get out of the house, entering her family’s garden – or rather what had used to be a garden. Everything was destroyed, including parts of the fence which surrounded it, opening up their view. The smoke was still too dense though, so it was hard to spot anything – or anyone.<br/>
Koranai started running again, Makoto following her, the two of them jumped through the broken fence, now standing on a smaller path again – one which used to form a small road between two adjacent houses. Now- their direct neighbor’s house was barely even standing anymore, it must have been hit badly by powerful attacks. Someone was fighting there.<br/>
The air around them got colder the more they approached it – something quite disturbing considering that all around them  there were multiple large fires – their flames spreading more and more each minute.<br/>
But this extremely frosty air – it must be coming from a fighting Takasu. Koranai had to get there – had to see what was happening behind the ruins of that house. </p><p>“ARGH-“<br/>
A gasp of pain nearly made the girl trip as she was running. “This voice-“<br/>
She was nearly there. The girl started to form sharp ice in both of her hands – ready to use it against whoever was threatening the boy she had just heard gasp. Daiki! I’m here wait for me-<br/>
Just around that corner and she’ll finally- </p><p>Koranai froze.<br/>
Her perfectly shaped two weapons burst into tiny pieces, the moment her eyes widened – terror overtaking her face at what she had to see.<br/>
Daiki was on his knees, barely even keeping himself up with his arms – the brown haired boy was panting heavily, his eyes fixed on his enemy.<br/>
His enemy.<br/>
Koranai covered her mouth, trying to keep herself from screaming. </p><p>Her brother Tsume was standing there, his pale arms covered in blood, the red stains coloring parts of the ice made weapon he was still holding in his arms. He was pointing it directly at Daiki. Then, above Tsume’s head, even more ice formed, shaping itself, getting sharper with each passing second until there were four large icicles hovering over his head.<br/>
“Tsu..” She could hear Daiki’s pained voice, “Stop…”<br/>
A shiver ran down her spine the moment she looked at her twin brother. He was grinning like a maniac, his arm moving in one swift movement – making the icicles head in Daiki’s direction.<br/>
“Daiki watch out!!” She screamed in desperation.<br/>
At the sound of her voice, Daiki turned, his eyes widening as he saw her. His tails moved right in front of him, one last hopeless move to shield himself from the other.<br/>
The cry that followed echoed through her ears.<br/>
The  pain the boy was feeling had been atrocious.<br/>
“Daiki!!” She wanted to run, but arms wrapped around her, holding her in place. Mako-<br/>
“Stay away!!”<br/>
Daiki’s voice made a sob escape her lips. He was panting, looking at her with only one eye still open, blood and bruises covering his face. “Run..”, he breathed, “he’s being controlled. He will attack you-“ The boy’s voice cracked.  “Please get out-“<br/>
Tsume shifted his attention to her. “Kora-“<br/>
But just as he had let Daiki out of his sight the boy had rushed forward, pushing himself up by one of his kitsune tails – using the moment to punch Tsume straight in the face, making the dark haired boy stumble backwards.<br/>
He turned to the others again, “Makoto get her out of here!!”<br/>
“No!” Kora tried to free herself from Makoto’s grip, “Let me go Daiki is hurt-“<br/>
Tsume regained his balance, losing no time to punch back, Daiki raising his arms in the last moment, intercepting the hit before it could hit him more badly. “Get out of here I said!” His voice was angry now, while he was trying to dodge more of Tsume’s attacks. “He can’t be stopped-“<br/>
He shifted his gaze, staring directly at Makoto, “Bring her out of here, she can’t die here-“<br/>
“No, Daiki! Stop it we can-“<br/>
“I’m sorry Kora-“ Using his full force Makoto pulled her away, not giving her any chance to free herself from his tight grip.<br/>
“Daiki!!” She yelled again, before she had been pulled around the corner they had come from, Makoto running towards her home again – he was trying to get her out of the line of fire.<br/>
Something was definitely wrong with Tsume. He had to come back and help Daiki, but even before that he had to make sure that Kora was not there, that she was somewhere safe, not having to watch him and Daiki fight Tsume together – all of them hurting one another.<br/>
“Makoto let go of me!” She yelled at him, as he pulled her along, now even back into the garden they emerged from – he had wanted to get her inside the house at least. But as they stepped on the porch, Koranai finally managed to free herself, making the red haired turn around in shock.<br/>
“I have to help them! They can’t fight each other!” She had tears in her eyes.<br/>
“Kora, you-“ But his eyes widened, before he could even speak his mind.<br/>
Six creatures have followed them, now standing in the garden – surrounding them. These were…looking like people. But their skin had a strange pale tone and their eyes were black, looking empty, as all of them were staring at them. Kora flinched.<br/>
He quickly jumped in front of her, holding his arm out to keep her safe. “Stay behind me-“<br/>
“Make way-“<br/>
But he quickly realized that these words were not necessarily meant for him. The dark haired girl was glaring at those creatures – the ones standing between her and her path back to her brothers.  She was set on fighting her way through them.<br/>
One of them suddenly started dashing forward, attacking them without hesitation. Makoto quickly formed flames out of the heated air which he constantly produced around himself.<br/>
Sadly, as here were so many ice fighters, his own warm air mixed with upcoming icy breezes, so due to that, his attack was not as efficient as he might have hoped. The flame hit the creature’s chest right on, even making its whole body go up in flames eventually.<br/>
But this thing still kept coming at them. Even while on fire – it didn’t seem to be affected in any way. While its flesh was melting in that second, it didn’t show any pain, but instead came for their lives.<br/>
Koranai pushed him out of the way, crossing her arms which were by now covered in thick ice, blocking the zombie’s attack in the last moment. Her hands were trembling as she tried to keep him blocked by pure force.<br/>
But with the fire, it now had all over himself, he started to melt through Koranai’s ice – making her block even more and more inefficient.<br/>
“It’s getting through-“ She yelled in frustration.<br/>
Makoto lost no time, forming an even more powerful flame now, putting all the effort into this hit, and this time – blasting right through its abdomen – making it fall backwards, leaving a large hole going right through its body.<br/>
One was down.<br/>
“Watch out!” Kora warned him, as three more of them started to rush to them, trying to attack them from three different angles.<br/>
Both Koranai and Makoto dodged, but those creatures kept coming for them, even after receiving countless kicks and punches – those things were indestructible.<br/>
Especially against ice, it seemed – Koranai’s attacks proving again and again to be harmless to them.<br/>
Someone had created those – probably making them this way – mostly immune to ice, so that the Takasu’s would struggle facing them. </p><p>The more Makoto used his ability, the more fire he created – the more fume spread around them.<br/>
In the time in which they had managed to bring another two of them down, one more appeared again, still leaving them to fight against four of them.<br/>
They could both barely see anything anymore – as the flames captured the air around them, making it not only very hard to see but also hard to breathe.<br/>
Kora started coughing at some point.<br/>
But Makoto – for him, it was something else , something new that happened.<br/>
After struggling just like Koranai for some time, not able to breathe properly because of the immense amount of fumes, he suddenly was able to breathe normally once again.<br/>
His blood felt like it was pulsating, a rush of adrenalin taking over him at that point. He would end all of those three with one more hit. The boy formed even more fire, now being able to stay as near to it as he wanted to without touching it. He let the flames go towards those zombies, making the fire start spinning at some point, the whole attack seeming like a small tornado made of fire – hitting each one of those four in mere seconds – bursting them away. </p><p>The way was free. At least – in theory.<br/>
Koranai was on her knees, barely able to breathe anymore due to the flames he had created.<br/>
“Kora-“ he rushed to her side, “C’mon let’s get out of here-“ The boy tried to help her up, pulling her up in one swift movement, slowly trying to make his way inside the house – just like he had planned. </p><p>“We can’t have you interfering. Good night.”</p><p>He turned around quickly at the unknown voice – but it was too late.<br/>
Something had come their way, but as it seemed – it was not directly heading their way, but crashed into one of the pillars which held up a part of the roof over the porch they were currently at.<br/>
“Mako watch out-“ Koranai screamed in shock.<br/>
But it was too late. The boy had pulled her into a hug, shielding her from the bricks suddenly falling down on them. He got hit by them – one of them extremely hard, as it bashed his head open, making the red haired gasp in pain, before he fell to the ground, taking her down with him. More small parts of that little rooftop crashed down, the weight pushing both of them down, Koranai cutting her arm open while she hit the ground, Makoto crashing right on top of her.<br/>
Her eyes widened as she saw it – the bleeding wound on his head and moreover – there were strange pulsating marks all over his face; she had never seen anything like that. But her arm was hurt, and he was too heavy for her to be able to get out of there with only her left hand.<br/>
Then, the girl suddenly felt a push of nausea taking over her. Her head was throbbing in pain.<br/>
Did she also hit her head as they crashed on the ground? She pressed her eyes closed, trying to get a grip of herself.<br/>
Where did this attack even came from?  She didn’t see their attacker; neither did she recognize his voice.<br/>
The fumes around them were not helping her condition at all. She couldn’t breathe in any fresh air, and with each second her nausea got worse. Everything hurt.<br/>
Makoto was not moving anymore – or at least she could not feel it.<br/>
“No…” She whispered, as she gripped the boy’s sweater with her left hand. Her headache got even worse. </p><p>She didn’t know how much time had passed. Seconds seemed to stretch into hours, as she was lying there helplessly, not able to help either one of the people she loved.<br/>
Kora had tears in her eyes as she slowly felt her consciousness fading away.<br/>
<em>Please don’t die today – any of you. Please.</em> </p><p>She heard steps approaching her.<br/>
Kora couldn’t open her eyes anymore. The only thing she felt before falling unconscious was the sudden weight lifted of her – someone had pulled Makoto up.<br/>
<em>Please survive.</em> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Yuudai was shifting in his bed, turning from left to right – the blonde had this habit, of moving around while asleep, but under normal circumstances it was not this excessive.<br/>
One wrong turn and he slipped, falling out of the bed and crashing onto the hard floor of his room.<br/>
He hissed as he opened his eyes.<br/>
Still half asleep Yuudai looked out of the window – it was still pitch-black; still not morning.<br/>
The boy wondered what the time was.<br/>
He didn’t have a clock in his room and for a moment, as he was still lying there on the ground next to his bed, the boy wondered if it would be worth it to get up and instead of jumping right back into bed, to go into the living room, checking the time on the large floor clock.<br/>
He sighed. It would probably bring him absolutely no peace, but somehow he wanted to know.<br/>
Would Makoto be home by now? If it would be past 1 AM, he probably would be. Even if he really did use this day to confess, he would have gone home afterwards, right? Another small ache in his chest torturing him. He bit his lip.<br/>
Slowly, the vampire got up from the floor, stumbling out of his room.<br/>
<em>Just checking the time and then I’ll go back to sleep. No big deal.</em><br/>
He would probably sleep better, if he knew for sure that Makoto was home by now, but even assuming it, after checking the time would do, he guessed.<br/>
The boy was still living in their old house, together with his older brother Hideki.<br/>
Lately they had a more complicated relationship – ever since losing Tooru, his brother had changed a lot, despising and avoiding humans even more, and even expecting Yuudai to do the same. So naturally, after he had refused his wishes, things had gotten a little more hot-tempered.<br/>
But seriously - how could he have even assumed that he would cut ties with Makoto?<br/>
It was unthinkable. </p><p>Entering the living room – Yuudai stopped in his tracks immediately.<br/>
He raised an eyebrow, surprised to see Hideki standing there – in the middle of the night.<br/>
“Can’t sleep either, huh?” He tilted his head.<br/>
But his brother remained silent, knitting his eyebrows as he saw Yuudai – he seemed in thought about something.<br/>
His expression was somehow unsettling. The blonde stepped closer, raising his voice some more. “Hide?”<br/>
The dark haired vampire in front of him let out a long breath. “Yuu.” His voice was strange – distasted.<br/>
“What is it?” Crossing his arms, Yuudai eyed his brother’s behavior.<br/>
“Humans. They’re so simple-minded.” Hideki leaned back against the wall, letting out a small scoff.<br/>
“The Takasu clan had been attacked.” </p><p>“What?”<br/>
Yuudai choked on his breath. “What’s…that supposed to mean?”</p><p>“It seems nearly the whole clan has been massacred. Isn’t it ironic how they wipe each other out just like that? I just found out, the ones who survived have been brought to the hospital-“</p><p>
  <em>No</em>
</p><p>
  <em>No no no no</em>
</p><p>“I have to go-“<br/>
“Yuu, this has nothing to do with us-“<br/>
“Mako went there last night-“, his voice cracked at the end.<br/>
Hideki fell silent. He didn’t particularly like the human his brother was always spending time with. But he also didn’t particularly hate him. He was fairly tolerable, considering that he knew about their vampire nature and never did he ever show any sign of resentment towards any of them.<br/>
The dark haired clenched his fists. His younger brother was already gone, he had run back into his room, probably to get his jacket and some other pants, before he had left the house, rushing to the hospital.<br/>
</p><p>“I hope he’s there. I don’t want to see you sad, Yuu.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. The world would be a darker place without you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>„Room 298, Sir.“<br/>Yuudai cleared his throat. „Thank you.”<br/>Before the short brown haired woman at the hospital reception could even say anything more, the blonde had already started running again. His eyes searched the big hall – finally setting on the one thing he was looking for – the stairs. <br/><em>He’s on the second floor.</em> <br/>Rushing, Yuudai took two steps at a time, hoping that this way he would get to his best friend faster, that the distance between them would be gone soon. He gritted his sharp teeth – luckily, there was no one around him, no one who would notice their strange shape. <br/>The woman had updated him on Makoto’s condition; apparently he was stable for the moment, since he had been brought in just in time after the fight. They quickly managed to treat the wound on his head, stopping the bleeding. <br/>But there seemed to be something else wrong with him, as his breathing kept being shallow, the red haired boy remaining extremely pale. The doctors have tried a blood transfusion, as well as an oxygen therapy.  Now, they had to wait – see how things would turn out before taking further actions. </p>
<p>He finally got to the second floor. Turning his head first to the left and then to his right, Yuudai noticed small signs on the walls, pointing out where the different rooms were situated. <br/>And there was the one sign he had to follow: 270-300. <br/>He rushed into the long corridor; eyeing each room he passed by.  All the rooms had even numbers so he had to look in both directions – searching for the right one. Makoto’s room was one of the two last ones – the door was closed as he stopped right in front of it. <br/>The vampire stared at the doorknob. It has been a long time since he had been in a hospital. The obtrusive smell of disinfectant was maddening, while the whole atmosphere was stifling, making him wish to leave this place as soon as possible. But he couldn’t. Makoto was here. <br/>He pushed open the door, entering the room within seconds. <br/>It was nearly three o’clock in the morning, but even so the room wasn’t dark, since all the lights were turned on, exposing the boy currently lying there, still unconscious. <br/>The blonde drew his lower lip between his teeth. “Mako-“ His voice was quiet, barely above a whisper. <br/>Yuudai couldn’t move for a moment, he just stood there, as if he had been rooted to the spot. His caramel brown eyes were blown open widely – fixed on the other, staring at the oxygen mask on Makoto’s face - his still pale face. <br/>But there was something else. They were already fading, but the blonde immediately recognized them – the dark marks on Makoto’s throat. They must have been all over his body at some point, but now, after hours, there were only slight traces of them still visible on the boy’s skin. <br/>He knew them.  Those were the same ones Makoto’s father had once had after using his fire abilities in excess. It was something genetic; their blood cells were mutated, morphing if they were denied enough oxygen. They would change fast, able to produce oxygen themselves for a short time, to enable its user to keep breathing even while he was surrounded by nothing but fire and smoke. Those cells would get darker though, coloring his veins in pitch-black, some of these vessels so affected that they would even become visible on his skin. <br/>Those marks – they were blood vessels. Makoto had been forced to use it for the first time. <br/>Yuudai swallowed. <em>I told you to go there.</em> <br/>He slowly approached the other – his view suddenly also taking in the rest of the room, as until then his eyes had been fixed solely on Makoto. There was a small table not far from the bed, two chairs were placed there. <br/>Reaching out, Yuudai pulled one of these chairs over to the bed, using it to sit down only inches away from his friend. <br/>He knew why Makoto was so pale. These blood cells were working for a short time only, since his body’s immune system would quickly notice them, marking them as not working properly – how ironic, and starting to destroy them merciless. <br/>It was a good call to give him a blood transfusion – he needed it. <br/>Yuudai tried to not look at the banked blood. He usually had complete control over his vampire side – up to the point where not even an open wound would make him falter. He had trained it for years, until being at Makoto’s side had felt completely natural, his craving for blood – ironically especially Makoto’s, had gotten imperceptible. But now – as he was looking at his unconscious best friend his emotions were twisting, his throat went dry. He struggled to keep his claws back. <br/>All of a sudden he reached out, taking Makoto’s hand. Yuudai closed his eyes – taking in a deep breath. <br/>It calmed him. He tightened his grip some more – he needed this, needed the other’s touch.<br/>“Your hand is so cold.” He whispered. “You idiot.”</p>
<p>“Please wake up soon.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It must have taken another hour, before a nurse entered the room, quickly checking Makoto’s vitals. <br/>He had a fever, Yuudai noticed the way her mouth had twisted after she had taken his temperature. She tried to give him an encouraging smile, but the boy ignored her, his thoughts moving in circles, orbiting solely around the red haired boy next to him. <br/>He could hear the sudden noise as she tried to scribble something down on the file in her hands. She skimmed through some more pages, eventually filling in some things, before she finally seemed to have finished, giving him one last glance while making her way to the door. <br/>After the door was closed again, the earlier silence returned – the room being filled by the steady rhythm of Makoto’s heartbeat, shown on a large monitor; as well as the sound of him breathing. It was also regular, a good sign, right? <br/>Yuudai looked at him with tired eyes. Makoto’s face seemed to have regained at least some of its normal color. The marks on his throat were gone completely by now – the last trace of what was the cause of this had finally disappeared. <br/>He was getting better. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>While watching him, the blonde shifted in his seat, pulling one leg up, taking in a cross-legged position – at least unilateral. He leaned forward, laying his head down – only inches away from Makoto’s chest – onto the soft mattress. His left hand was still interlaced with Makoto’s.   <br/>“Mako.” He murmured – trying to look at the other’s face from this angle. He couldn’t see much of the other’s face from this position, nothing more than his sharp jawline and strands of red hair, tousled all over the pillow. He noticed the way the boy’s body slightly moved each time he breathed. <br/>“You really gave me quite a scare, you know?” Yuudai halted, as if waiting for an answer. <br/>Minutes passed, while the room remained quiet – the blonde still watching his friend, blinking from time to time, secretly hoping for him to just open his eyes – make a joke about how he is just fine and that Yuudai shouldn’t worry about it. <br/>But he didn’t. <br/>The blonde cleared his throat. “I didn’t really want you to go with her.” He tightened his grip on the other’s loose hand. “I don’t know why I even pushed you.”<br/>He sighed silently, averting his eyes away from the older boy’s face. <br/>The monitor echoed through the room, the silent beeps soothing him somehow. <br/>Yuudai closed his eyes. “Did…you give it a shot, after all?”<br/>He thought about his words for a moment. </p>
<p>Makoto wouldn’t answer – well, he couldn’t right now. <br/>He didn’t even hear him. <br/>Yuudai let out a shaky laugh. “Forget that. It doesn’t matter.” He leaned in even more, the top of his head now pressed against Makoto’s upper arm. His cheek had brushed over the soft fabric of the hospital’s white blanket. The smell of blood hit his senses for a moment, making his head spin. A muscle in his jaw twitched. <br/>But it was just an impulse – nothing more. <br/>“I just need you to wake up soon.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Even like this, Yuudai couldn’t rest – not even for a single moment. The boy kept listening to Makoto’s breathing as he thought about him – a younger version of him. Memories he had not thought about for a long time swirled through the blonde’s head – different moments of their childhood mixed with some teenage years flashing before his eyes. <br/>He lingered on one particular memory – when they had been fifteen, somehow ending up in an old ruin deep within a forest. He didn’t remember the details; why they had gone there or why they had suddenly started to playfully make bets about Yuudai finding Makoto if he were to hide there. <br/>It had been an amusing challenge.<br/>One – which had at some point even required the blonde to use his vampire side, hunting the other down more efficiently. He had sneaked up on Makoto, who had been so confident about his hiding place. <br/>Suddenly, Yuudai had grabbed his throat with his claws, turning the others gaze upwards, Makoto’s blue eyes meeting his red ones. The gasp the red haired had let out in that moment had been priceless – making Yuudai flash him a teasing smirk. “Found you, Makoto.”</p>
<p>Makoto still owed him for that won bet. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The blonde’s lips curved into a small smile at the memory. He remembered the way Makoto had regained his composure – only to scold him to not act so thoughtless ever again – he was always so worried that the wrong people could catch Yuudai being in this form, realizing what he was. <br/>Considering what had once happened to them when they were still kids regarding this matter, it was somehow understandable. He didn’t want to think about it now though. It was something Yuudai had wanted to forget – even though he had a scar on his face, always trying to remind him of it.<br/>But now was definitely not the time to think about anything other than happy memories. <br/>He shifted his head again. </p>
<p>Yuudai brought his right arm up, starting to fidget with the dark bands hanging around his neck. <br/>The sun was probably starting to rise, as the boy noticed how the light conditions were slowly shifting. It must have gotten morning not long ago. </p>
<p>Once again he heard the door open. This time there were more steps – so it wasn’t only one person. He didn’t even bother to move, he didn’t want to get up, didn’t want to lose the feeling of Makoto’s skin brushing against his hair each time he shifted. Was that strange? It probably was, but he didn’t care. He even tightened his grip on the other’s hand. </p>
<p>“Yuudai-“<br/>He recognized the voice immediately. Only seconds later, a small hand touched his shoulder lightly. He couldn’t help it – he flinched away immediately. Yuudai didn’t like it when others touched him. Well, correction – if any other person than Makoto touched him. <br/>It was also like this with Ayano, Makoto’s little sister, who was now standing right beside him. It had been her touch he had flinched away from. <br/>The blonde couldn’t really explain it – it was something that just happened, no matter how close he was to the other person. Ayano and him did also know each other ever since they were children, they had grown up together as the younger girl had always wanted to join in on their games, she always wanted to be a part of their activities. He was very fond of the girl, probably the only other human who he wouldn’t want to lose – ever. But even so in all those years, he had only once hugged her, or rather, she had hugged him. It had been right after Yuudai had given her a small red teddy bear to cheer her up. <br/>From time to time the boy wondered if she still had it. He smiled to himself, away from her sight. <em>Probably not.</em>  <br/>“I just heard what happened-“ her voice was shaky. “How is he?”<br/>“His head got hurt pretty badly.” Yuudai answered her. He got up a little bit, finally taking his chance to look at Makoto properly again. He wasn’t pale any longer. But he was still feverish; Yuudai saw the same expression on the nurse’s face out of the corner of his eyes. <br/>He slowly turned, facing Ayano. Her eyes were a bit puffy, she had probably cried on her way here after hearing that her brother had been hurt, even brought to the hospital. He immediately saw the fear in her gaze. Yuudai had to calm her down. <br/>“He’s stable now though. Looking a lot better than when I arrived, trust me.” He gave the girl an encouraging look. He didn’t have it in himself to smile at a moment like this – he was still so worried about the other boy, even while telling her that she had no reason to do so.  <br/><em>What a hypocrite I’m being.</em><br/>“How long have you been here?” Her voice was small. She was probably feeling guilty – that she had just arrived, that she had found out so late. <br/>It was probably strange, but a part of Yuudai was somehow feeling grateful that she did. He had been the one staying at Makoto’s side – only him. It was irrational to think like this – another part of him knew it. <br/>“A couple of hours now.” He sighed. “He had not been awake though.” His eyes darted back to Makoto for a moment. <br/>The small girl brought her hand up, grabbing her other arm with it – standing there nervously. She noticed the desk now though, including the other chair which was still free. <br/>Ayano stepped forward then, heading right there – sitting down. The girl was biting her lip, while looking at her brother. <br/>Yuudai couldn’t read her expression. She was worried – that much he knew though. </p>
<p>He turned to Makoto again. <br/>“You should really wake up soon. You’re making your little sister cry, Idiot.”<br/>The vampire could hear a tiny laugh, coming from behind him. It wasn’t much, but at least he could make her smile for a moment. </p>
<p>
  <em>No, but really, Mako.</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Please just wake up.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was around noon, when Makoto had finally woken up. </p>
<p>“Y..Yuu.” The boy had mumbled suddenly, startling both Ayano and Yuudai. “Where am I…what happ..ened?”<br/> His sister had rushed to his side immediately, pulling the boy into a hug, making him hiss in pain as she had squeezed him just a bit too tightly. Yuudai had smiled at him. <br/>The blonde had moved slightly, making enough space for the girl; for her to stay there, hugging her brother. <br/>Yuudai had taken the chance to call a nurse as soon as possible, tell her that Makoto was awake now.  Ayano had tried to fill him in on what had happened in the meantime. </p>
<p>Not long after that, a doctor had appeared; ready to check the boy’s condition, make sure that he didn’t need the oxygen mask anymore, so that they could finally remove it. <br/>The man also removed the blood bottle next, closing the cannula still fixed on Makoto’s arm, as he now seemed to have recovered from his blood loss. <br/>For a short moment, a shiver ran down Yuudai’s spine once again, as he had sensed fresh blood – Makoto’s blood – through the cannula.  He swallowed, stepping back a little. The smell disappeared quickly – fortunately. </p>
<p>The doctor took out his stethoscope then. He motioned Makoto to get his white shirt off, as he wished to check his lungs now. He moved on quickly – doing his job as efficiently as possible.<br/>Without losing a beat the red haired complied, brushing it off in one swift moment – his chest now completely exposed to everyone in the room. </p>
<p>Yuudai caught his breath for a moment. He was relieved – that he had stepped back earlier, now standing a bit further away, so that none of them had noticed his reaction. He was staring. His eyes darted over his best friend’s chest, using his gaze to trail along his pectoral muscles, before moving downwards to his abdomen, taking in each little detail, seeing the way everything flexed the moment the doctor told him to take a deep breath. <br/>His throat felt dry again. This was becoming some kind of habit it seemed. Yuudai wanted to look away, wanted to avert his gaze before Makoto would notice, but as much as he tried he just couldn’t. <br/>It was strange – this was not the first time he had seen his best friend shirtless in all the years they had known each other. That was probably why he didn’t understand why this was so overwhelming, feeling to completely different than any other time before. <br/>Luckily, Makoto was focused on following the doctor’s instructions, so he must have not seen the way his best friend was openly staring. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He was relieved when it was over, when Makoto had finally been asked to take his shirt back on. Yuudai averted his gaze to the side. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Looks fine now.” The doctor explained, while still writing something down in the meantime. After he was done, he looked up, meeting Makoto’s gaze. “I would like you to stay for one or two more days though. Just to be sure everything is fine-“<br/>“Is that really necessary?” Makoto suddenly cut him off.<br/> Yuudai turned his face immediately, knitting his eyebrows in confusion, losing no time to interject his opinion. “If he says you should stay then you stay, what the hell Mako-“<br/>“I don’t like hospitals.” The red haired answered silently, biting his lip. <br/>Even though the doctor and his sister were there, too, he seemed to focus solely on Yuudai as he spoke. “If it’s not completely necessary I would really like to go home.” Makoto had a begging expression on his face as he looked at his best friend. <br/><em>“I don’t like hospitals.”</em><br/>Yuudai’s eyes suddenly widened. <br/><em>Your mother.</em> <br/><em>She died in a hospital.</em></p>
<p>The blonde could have groaned in frustration – how could he have not thought of that right away. After all, he knew everything about Makoto, didn’t he?<br/>Had he been so distracted just now that his brain had shut off for a moment?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Seeing that his best friend fell silent, Makoto turned back to the doctor, asking once more, “It it really necessary?”<br/>The man looked at him, his forehead creased, probably contemplating over his patient’s request. </p>
<p>Eventually, he sighed. “Well, I can only recommend it. But I can’t keep you here, you’re not in a life threatening condition.” He hesitated for a moment. “You’ll have to fill out a form that you take full responsibility. You can go home then, and if something would happen, you could always return.”<br/>“I’ll do that.” Makoto gave him a small smile. “Thank you.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Now I'm here</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A loud jingle echoed from the kitchen. <br/>Makoto turned slowly in his bed, grumbling because of his headache. He had tried to sleep for the past hour, hoping that it would help, maybe even cure him of it. But it seemed to have gotten only worse. <br/>The boy blinked, glancing at the ceiling for a moment in order to adjust to the soft rays of sunlight entering his room through the window. He sighed. <br/>After laying there for some time, breathing in deeply a few times Makoto finally turned to his side, facing the door. The red haired cleared his voice before he spoke up. “Yuu?” His voice was still hoarse though. “What are you doing?”<br/>There was no answer at first. <br/>But just when Makoto wanted to try once again, Yuudai responded. “I’ll be right there!”<br/>Finally hearing him, Makoto closed his eyes, his lips curving into an honest smile. “Okay.”, he whispered to himself. </p>
<p>It took Yuudai some more minutes to enter the other’s room with a large bowl in his hand. <br/>Makoto’s eyes widened. “You made food?” he asked immediately, surprised. <br/>The blonde raised an eyebrow. “Yeah. You have to eat something after all.” He sat down, scrabbling right next to Makoto on the bed. <br/>His bed was large, with much more space than a single person needed – something which had proven to be useful many times when they had been children.  They had always been able to cuddle up the same bed when Yuudai slept over. <br/>This, however, had not happened in a long time – they had grown up, after all. </p>
<p>“Sit up, Mako.” Yuudai adjusted beside him, sitting there cross-legged and still holding the bowl in his hands. <br/>Slowly the red haired did so, giving the other a lop-sided grin. “So what now? Will you feed me, Yuu?”<br/>“Eh?” Yuudai clicked his tongue. “Of course not.” He quickly handed Makoto the bowl, carefully placing it in the other boy’s hands. “You have a headache, you’re not paralyzed.”<br/>He turned away right after, trying to hide the small blush that crept up on his cheeks. <br/><em>Stupid.</em> </p>
<p>Makoto didn’t seem to notice it though. He stared at the bowl of soup in his hands, taking in its delicious aroma.  “Soup.” His face lit up, “Thank you.”<br/>“No sweat, idiot.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sip by sip, the red haired supped the bowl’s whole content – he had been starving, not able to eat anything the whole day until now. Yuudai had forced him to drink enough water though – and he had insisted on staying with him, making sure that he had everything he needed after leaving the hospital far too early. </p>
<p>Makoto had declined his sister’s help three times, telling her to stop worrying about him, since he was “fine”, and just go home and give him some time to rest. She had snarled back at him, telling him how irrational he was acting, but eventually, she had given in. <br/>“I’ll come bring you breakfast tomorrow morning, though.” She had insisted before leaving. <br/>Makoto had shaken his head in amusement, before he had turned to his best friend, ready to tell him the same thing. <br/>But there was no way Yuudai would have even listened to that nonsense, so he cut him off, before he could start. <br/>“I’m staying.” Crossing his arms, the blonde had watched his friend. <br/>Makoto had looked at him, startled for a moment. But then, he had smiled, “I should have figured that.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Taking the empty bowl, Yuudai got up to his feet again, heading straight to the kitchen. <br/>It was clean – Makoto’s kitchen. The blonde had been relieved when he had seen it earlier, but he had not been necessarily surprised. The red haired always kept everything tidy and clean – part of Yuudai wondered if his best friend was really that diligent with cleaning or if he just did it so that Yuudai would never feel even the slightest bit uncomfortable. He smiled for a moment. <br/><em>Doesn’t really matter, huh?</em><br/>The boy quickly washed the empty bowl, before wiping it dry with a towel and placing it back in one of the cupboards.  He covered the pot containing even more self-made soup – he had wanted to be sure to have enough ready, if the other would crave more later. <br/>But for now, Makoto was good. </p>
<p>After everything was done, he left the kitchen, heading back to the other room – to his best friend. <br/>Makoto was still sitting up, having moved his pillow so he would lean against it easily. His gaze immediately fixed on Yuudai as the blonde entered the room again, finally returning. <br/>“Want to watch some TV?” He had suddenly asked out of the blue.<br/>“Shouldn’t you rest?” Yuudai’s mouth pressed into a thin line, as he looked at the other. <br/>“Doesn’t help.” Makoto sighed, “Maybe it will help – distracting me, you know?”<br/>Yuudai stared at him in disbelief. But the way Makoto sat there with begging eyes, as if asking for permission even though he didn’t need to – this was his apartment after all – made Yuudai falter; his heart ached for a moment. He let out a long breath. “Fine.” Walking over to the TV, he grabbed the remote, before moving back again, once more sitting down on his part of the bed. <br/>The thought was amusing; seeing this as his side, as if it would be their bed - one they would always share. <br/>He clicked on the power button, starting to switch through different shows, waiting for Makoto to tell him where to stop – what he wanted to watch. The boy eventually did so. <br/>Yuudai knitted his brows. It was a documentary movie – of course. Makoto always like this kind of stuff – eager to find out different facts about all kinds of things, stuff he could randomly use in a future conversation. This small peculiarity could be seen as a truly endearing side of his character, at least Yuudai saw it that way.<br/>The blonde bit his lip. He adjusted the second pillar, leaning back on it as well while slowly pushing the remote in between them so that Makoto would be able to easily reach it should he want to.<br/>They both fell silent, starting to watch the show – one about the desert, spilling different facts about animals living there, as well as the ecological system they shared. <br/>It wasn’t the stuff Makoto usually watched, as he was far more interested about excavations, especially those talking about dinosaurs and the traces they have left on earth. <br/>But right now, he might not even care what was running, might not even really listen to what was said. Out of the corners of his eyes Yuudai could see the other’s gaze; it was slightly lowered, seeming a bit dull. <br/>No. He wasn’t really paying attention – even though they had only been watching this for about ten minutes. <br/>Yuudai grabbed the remote again, lowering the volume a bit. He immediately felt Makoto’s gaze shift towards him. <br/>“Why-“<br/>“What’s wrong?” Yuudai asked, putting the remote down on the spot between them again. “Did your headache get worse again?”<br/>“It’s not that.” Makoto quietly whispered, looking away, his eyes now fixed on the TV again. He only tried to avert his gaze – obviously. <br/>“Mako…”<br/>The red head bit his lip. “I just thought about Kora and her family.” </p>
<p>There it was again. This ache. <br/><em>It’s stupid – really. Of course he would think about that. Something terrible happened to them.</em> <br/><em>Why does it bother me this much?</em><br/><em>I should think about that too, instead of thinking about how I don’t want him to think about that.</em> <br/><em>Does that even make sense?</em></p>
<p>Yuudai clenched his fists in his lap. Makoto was still staring at the TV – his bottom lip quivering. </p>
<p>“You saved her.” The blonde spoke up after clearing his throat. <br/>“No.” Makoto answered. “I tried to, but I failed and ended up having to be saved by a complete stranger.” <br/>Yuudai noticed the way the other boy squeezed his eyes shut for some time. He must be in pain again. For a short moment he had wanted to reach out, take the other’s hand again and hold on, just like he had done in the hospital, when Makoto had still been unconscious. <br/>But he stopped himself. He couldn’t just do something like that. <br/>“You protected her before though. You saved her, Mako.” He tried his best to leave his own emotions out of it. <br/>“Ayano told me that Daiki is in the hospital, too.” He spoke quietly. “Tsume and Yuso are nowhere to be found. And her parents-“<br/>“I know.” Yuudai answered. “I’m sorry.” He swallowed. “But there’s nothing you could have done-“<br/>“Yeah. I’m aware of that.” There was so much sadness in his best friend’s voice – so much regret, even though he had done nothing wrong. What happened had been horrible – a tragedy. But no one had seen it coming; there had been nothing what could have been done to prevent it – make it undone.<br/>“Mako…”</p>
<p>“It was good that I didn’t let her go home alone. I would have never forgiven myself if something would have happened to her.”</p>
<p><em>I know. </em> <br/><em>But I don’t know why hearing you say it out loud hurts somehow.</em> </p>
<p>“You could have died.” Yuudai murmured, “That would have been something I would have never forgiven myself for.”<br/>Makoto suddenly turned to him. <br/>His eyes were wide – the boy had clearly been caught off guard by his best friend’s words.  “Yuu, it wouldn’t have been-“<br/>“My fault?” Yuudai let out a shaky breath. “I told you to go. I refused to join you. I wasn’t there to help you-“<br/>“No one would have imagined something like this would happen-“<br/>“Doesn’t matter, Mako.” His tone was harsh. “I should have been there with you.”</p>
<p>Makoto kept quiet. He was watching Yuudai, his mouth slightly open, as if he had wanted to say something, to answer him, but had stopped before the words had left his mouth. <br/>Yuudai averted his gaze, staring at his clenched fists. </p>
<p><em>Yeah. Maybe if I would have been there he wouldn’t have gotten hurt at all.</em> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Why didn’t you come?”</p>
<p>Yuudai’s eyes widened at those words.<br/>He didn’t know what to answer him. <br/>It was a legit question. Why didn’t he?</p>
<p>Makoto watched him. <br/>The boy tried again. “You told me to finally go for it. Go for what?”</p>
<p>Now - this question was even worse. </p>
<p>Yuudai’s face twisted in discomfort. He really hoped that the strands of his hair were able to cover most of his face, so that Makoto wouldn’t see it. <br/><em>I should just ask him.</em> <br/><em>Get it over with.</em> </p>
<p>“You…like her, don’t you?”<br/>“Like?” Makoto shifted, leaning in a bit closer to the other, his brows knitted in confusion. <br/>“Yeah. As in…you know…a more than friends way?”</p>
<p>There was no reaction. Complete silence fell over the two boys, while the only sound echoing through the room was the low volume coming from the TV. <br/>It was strange. </p>
<p>But it got even stranger when Makoto suddenly let out a small laugh, startling the other. “What?!” <br/>Yuudai looked up immediately, locking eyes with his best friend. Makoto’s earlier tense posture had relaxed. <br/>The red haired didn’t lose a beat, “Where did you get that impression, Yuu?” Makoto raised an eyebrow, “That’s definitely not the case. For neither of us, believe me.”<br/>“But you-“ Yuudai halted, “I just assumed-“<br/>“We’re close, sure.” Makoto leaned back again. “But she’s just a friend. That’s all.”<br/>The blonde just stared at him in disbelief. So you’re not- <br/>He then saw a quick smile hush over Makoto’s face. <br/>“You know.”, the red haired spoke, “it’s strange. If you wouldn’t have come to that conclusion you would have never asked me to go with her. Who knows what could have happened.” He looked back at Yuudai. “So maybe you were the one who saved her in the end.”<br/>Yuudai’s forehead creased. “That’s pretty far-fetched.”<br/>“You think so?” Makoto brought a finger up, brushing over his chin. “Maybe.”<br/>Yuudai sighed. “Sorry. For jumping to conclusions like that.”<br/>That got the other to tilt his head. Makoto didn’t say anything though. They were just looking at each other for a long moment, eyes fixed on one another, Yuudai’s caramel brown ones clashing together with Makoto’s sea blue ones. <br/>It felt like a heavy weight had been lifted from his chest. <br/>Strange, isn’t it?<br/>Yuudai didn’t want to further think about it though. He just felt happy in that moment. That was enough for him. </p>
<p> </p>
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<p>But the happiness had quickly dissolved into the complete opposite – only some hours later. <br/>It had started quite inconspicuous – Makoto had started to breathe more heavily all of a sudden. He had adjusted his pillow, laying down more comfortably again and closing his eyes for some moments, trying to calm down. <br/>But it didn’t get better. Yuudai had told him to stay this way, finally rest a bit, right after he had made him drink a cup of water once again. It was important for Makoto to stay hydrated – the doctor had insisted on that, before letting him go home. <br/>Yuudai had been watching his best friend for half an hour now - he had his eyes squeezed shut while he gnashed his teeth from time to time.  <br/>Makoto was in pain. <br/>“Mako, you-“<br/>“I’m not going back to the hospital.” He had huffed in between deep breaths, “I’m staying here.”<br/>Yuudai clenched his fists together once again. <em>Why are you so stubborn? </em><br/>“Where does it hurt?”<br/>“My head is throbbing.” Makoto whispered slowly. “Can you look…if I have any pain killers?”<br/>“I will.” Immediately the boy got up, running towards the kitchen. He knew exactly where his friend kept everything.  Yuudai took out a small transparent box, containing some other boxes – or rather, some meds. <br/>“Let’s see. These should be some.” The vampire examined the packaging, making sure he got the right ones, before putting the rest back to its place. <br/>He took another bottle of water as he left the kitchen, holding it in his left hand while he had one small pill in his right one. <br/>He lost no time, pouring Makoto some fresh water into his cup the moment he arrived back in the boy’s room. He sat down, this time right beside the other – only inches away. He opened his palm, offering Makoto the meds he had asked for. The red haired blinked at him. He gave him a small smile, even though his whole face had seemed tortured only seconds earlier.<br/>He watched his best friend swallow the pill, before handing him the cup of water, so that he could take a few sips right after. <br/>Makoto lied down again, while Yuudai put the half empty cup back on a small table not far away from the bed. Makoto could easily reach for it if he needed to. </p>
<p>Now – all he could do was to wait, it would take the medication around thirty minutes to kick in and make its effect. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Makoto kept panting - he was sweating. Yuudai could see the way the boy’s pillow and cushion were soaked by now.<br/>The boy looked at the clock. Fifty-three minutes have already passed. <br/>The painkillers had no effect on him. Instead, his fever had returned all of a sudden – Makoto had started shaking, his arms being ice cold when Yuudai had touched him. <br/>Quickly he had brought one more blanket, putting it over the boy – trying to warm him up. <br/>“Yuu-“ Makoto gasped, his whole body curling together. He let out a shaky breath while his fingers clenched around his pillow. <br/>“I’m here-“, Yuudai made sure the other was tightly wrapped in those two blankets. <br/>“It’s so warm-“ Makoto squirmed with pain. <br/>“You were shaking. You need this-“ Yuudai’s face contorted. He pressed his open palm on the other boy’s forehead. Once again Makoto’s eyes were squeezed shut the whole time. “Your fever is getting worse again-“ the blonde gritted his teeth. </p>
<p>Makoto coiled himself up even more. His mouth was open as he breathed heavily; the boy shifted, so that he was now fully on his left side turned towards Yuudai who was still standing right next to his bed. </p>
<p>He didn’t know what to do. Yuudai opened the window, letting in some fresh air, but just as the first freezing breeze entered the room he decided against it - to close it again. It would probably only worsen Makoto’s condition – he could not let that happen. <br/>The stained breathing sounds were ringing through his ears – cutting right through his heart. It was torturing – seeing his best friend like this. He tried to pull himself together, as he turned suddenly, rushing towards the bathroom. Yuudai took a towel out of a small cupboard, wetting it quickly, before he returned to Makoto’s side – half running through the apartment. <br/>He dabbed the boy’s neck lightly, before he moved up, brushing the cold towel over Makoto’s cheek, ultimately ending up on his forehead. He placed it there, before putting his palm one more time above it, trying to increase its effect.  “Mako…”<br/>The other boy didn’t react anymore though. He was a bit pale again, as pain had transformed his whole face – making him seem too vulnerable again, so in danger. Yuudai couldn’t cope with it. <br/>He slowly brushed his fingers over Makoto’s exposed side – over his neck. He halted for a moment, trying to make out the other’s heartbeat. <br/>It was beating way too fast, a side effect of the fever he was having. <br/>The vampire got down on his knees, enabling himself to be face to face with his best friend. Even though Makoto had not opened his eyes even once for the past hour, Yuudai needed to do this, needed to see his face directly. Makoto was still shivering. </p>
<p>Desperation crept up on him. He didn’t know what to do – didn’t know what else could even be done to help his best friend. He had to warm him up, as well as try to calm him down some way. <br/>He had to focus. </p>
<p>“It…hurts.” It was a quiet whisper from the other. <br/>Yuudai could do nothing but stare at him, at his pained expression. <br/><em>Mako-</em></p>
<p>He stood up instantly, running around the large bed, getting inside within seconds and then – wrapping his arms around Makoto’s laying frame. <br/>He slid closer to the red haired, tightening his grip. He was spooning him. <br/>Yuudai could hear each small gasp of pain Makoto let out. Each time – each one of them pierced through his complete being, hurting him just as much. <br/>He thought about how he would gladly take the other’s pain – feel it himself, than having to spend even one more sole minute seeing Makoto squirm in agony like this. It was not fair. <br/>He pressed himself even nearer. Yuudai could feel his own heartbeat fastening at his own action, threatening to jump out of his chest.  He was spooning his best friend. <br/>The blonde felt Makoto’s body relax slightly. He was still panting, and from this perspective, Yuudai as able to clearly see the other’s carotid – the way it swiftly moved right under Makoto’s skin. The vampire’s teeth sharpened. <br/>He quickly shut his eyes. <em>No. Don’t think about blood. He needs me now-</em> <br/>Yuudai let his head fall forward, now leaned on Makoto’s right shoulder. He held him close. <br/>“I’m here Mako.” The boy whispered against the fabric of Makoto’s brown shirt. </p>
<p>“I won’t leave you.”</p>
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<a name="section0004"><h2>4. The mark that binds us</h2></a>
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    <p>The boy was so warm. Yuudai didn’t know if it was all due to the fever, since even under normal circumstances being around Makoto always felt warmer – literally. <br/>It was part of his family’s ability to constantly heat up the air around them, so that it would be easier to form fire out of the blue should they need it. <br/>Of course, Yuudai had also not been this close to the other in a long time. Their bodies were pressed up against one another, the only thing separating them being the two layers of blankets the blonde had wrapped the other up in. <br/>But even so, Yuudai could feel each small movement. The way his back flexed slightly when Makoto took a deep breath, as well as those moments when he tensed – probably due to the pain. Yuudai always tightened his grip a bit each time that happened. He tried his best to give him some comfort, as well as make absolutely sure that he would not get cold throughout the night. Makoto had this irritating habit of pushing the blanket off from time to time when he was asleep. </p>
<p>His breathing seemed to even out slowly. Makoto’s muscles have relaxed – the boy now lying in Yuudai’s arms calmly – on the brink of falling asleep. The red haired shifted slightly, getting more comfortable as he leaned against Yuudai’s chest. <br/>The vampire took in a sharp breath. It had been one thing – holding his friend when he had been suffering and trying to soothe his pain. But now – Makoto had fallen asleep. He didn’t need any comfort anymore – didn’t need Yuudai’s arms around him and his chest up pressed against his back. <br/>But it didn’t even cross the blonde’s mind to let go, to untangle their bodies. Instead, he stared at Makoto’s shoulder; at the way it was moving up and down at a slow pace in time with the boy’s breathing. The red haired’s hand was only inches away the rest of his body – his palm was open, not holding on to his pillow anymore like he had done earlier. <br/>It would only take one small movement for Yuudai to shift, to grab his friend’s hand just like he had done at the hospital. It was a nice feeling – holding Makoto’s hand. For a moment the blonde imagined how it would be if the other would have reached out, just like he had so often done when they had been younger, taking Yuudai’s hand once more. He swallowed. When did they even stop doing that? <br/>This was the very first memory Yuudai had of his best friend. He had reached out one day, calling his name and pulling him along with him – smiling the whole time. The whole scene had seemed enchanting to him even then, the way this boy insisted on having him around the whole time; enjoying their time together so much. <br/>For Yuudai – it had been the same way. <br/>And like that, they had stayed together for all those years, always at each other’s side somehow. </p>
<p>The blonde closed his eyes. No. He couldn’t just take Makoto’s hand right now. It might already be too much – the way he was holding him close while he was sleeping soundly. <br/>He blocked out those memories and tried to focus on something else; something that wouldn’t make his head spin with questions. <br/>But how could he think about anything other than Makoto while the boy was this near?<br/>He let out a shaky breath. Leaning in even closer, he tried focusing on Makoto’s small movements – on the way he pulled fresh air in while his mouth was slightly parted – letting out a tiny particular sound each time. Yuudai smiled with his eyes still closed. <br/><em>What’s wrong with me all of a sudden?</em><br/><em>I really don’t get it.</em> </p>
<p>Not long after, the blonde also fell asleep, sinking into the mattress and but not lessening his hold on the human lying in his arms. </p>
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<p>Yuudai tore his eyes open, being woken by a tight feeling in his chest.  It was still early in the morning; the room was barely illuminated by the upcoming sunlight at this point. He immediately checked on Makoto. <br/>Of course – he was still asleep. Makoto had always liked to sleep in; the boy was extremely lazy in the mornings ever since Yuudai could remember. Luckily they hadn’t moved much during those night hours - his arms were still slung loosely around the other boy. <br/>But Yuudai didn’t have time to give his best friend a second glance, since suddenly, the pain in his chest got worse – it felt like someone would have stabbed him with full force.<br/>“Damn it.” The boy whispered under his breath, as he slowly retracted his arms – careful as not to wake the other. <br/>He stumbled out of the room, headed right towards the bathroom. For a short moment he felt like he was about to throw up. <br/>But luckily – the feeling didn’t linger, but instead, calmed down within seconds, as the boy had reached Makoto’s bathroom. He quickly closed the door before grabbing the edge of the sink, trying to lean on it. <br/>The pain was still there, but it changed; the feeling now seeming like his skin was on fire. It was strange – something he had never experienced until then. <br/>“What is this-“ Yuudai gritted his teeth, before he pulled his dark red sweater off, exposing his skin which was currently still covered by bandages. <br/>As a vampire, his whole circulatory system was working much slower than those of humans; the negative effect being that he was cold most of the time. Those bandages helped keeping him a bit warmer at least. <br/>Of course, it was nothing to the way being near Makoto warmed him up. </p>
<p>Letting his vampire claws come out for a moment, he used them to cut through some of the bandages, trying to expose the skin right over his heart – the spot which was still burning like hell, making him hiss. </p>
<p>But then, the blonde froze, as the cut parts of his bandages fell off. His caramel brown eyes widened at the sight, while his grip on the sink tightened. <br/>“This can’t be…” He whispered in horror, staring at the mirror – right at the spot which was now exposed.  There was now a small spot on his chest, turning his skin black while forming something that looked like a small circle – or rather, a clock. Yuudai caught his breath. His arm shivered slightly. <br/>The pain slowly disappeared as Yuudai kept staring, while the mark on his chest seemed to stop changing – reaching it’s supposed appearance. </p>
<p>“My timer appeared…” His voice was shaking. Yuudai spoke quietly though – part of him because he was in shock – not realizing that he was in fact voicing his thoughts, while on the other side he would definitely, under no circumstances, want Makoto to find out about this. </p>
<p>He immediately thought about his younger brother – Tooru. </p>
<p>The Katsua clan had been turned into vampires – they had been made stronger and faster, so that they could become heartless fighters, soldiers –  even monsters if needed. <br/>There was no place for an emotion such as love in a life destined to be this way.  This is why – should they not “work properly” and dare to start developing a feeling like this for someone else, a stranger – someone who was not part of their direct bloodline, a thing called Timer would activate. It was a death sentence for them. <br/>The small clock would progress in time, making the vampire weaker, more vulnerable – as well as making him loose control more and more, until eventually – he would turn into the monster he was meant to be from the start, just minutes before he would die painfully. It was a cruel way to end someone’s life – being designed so that they would attack the one they loved too, not able to control themselves anymore. While being in unsupportable physical pain they should be forced to destroy everything they held dear, before they would lose their own life. </p>
<p>Tooru had also fallen in love some time ago. He had met this one girl at young age – giving his heart away to her far too soon. <br/>His timer had started. <br/>When their older brother Hideki had found out about all of this, and also that the boy had tried to keep it a secret, he locked Tooru away, desperately hoping to save him this way – by keeping him away from the girl that brought this over him - by curing him somehow.<br/>But the result had been the opposite – it had been horrifying. By not being able to be in his loved one’s proximity Tooru’s timer had moved forward at a speeding pace, making him suffer terribly the whole time.<br/>It had gotten even worse when that girl had sneaked in, trying to find him. Tooru had tried to protect her from Hideki’s rage, ultimately losing his control in that fight. <br/>Yuudai would never forget it – the way he had to watch Hideki kill their younger brother so that he wouldn’t suffer even more.<br/>He gasped. He couldn’t do something like this to his older brother again – he couldn’t make him go through the same pain once more.  </p>
<p>He clenched his fists. <br/>Another memory surfaced. One that has been long forgotten – something he had not seen as something that would actually become a problem someday – at least not back then. <br/>It had been a year after his mother had died – also due to the timer. <br/>Makoto seemed to have found out somehow- that something like that “timer” existed - even when they were children he had been very attentive. <br/>He had come running, pulling Yuudai into a tight hug.<br/>“Stay with me okay-“ Makoto’s voice had been shaking. He had been afraid, Yuudai could immediately see that. <br/>“Huh?!” Yuudai had given his nine year old best friend a confused look. “What’s that supposed to mean-“<br/>“This way you won’t fall in love with a stupid girl and nothing will happen to you-“ The red haired’s voice had been just above a whisper now. <br/>But Yuudai had caught it nevertheless. <br/>“Mako-“</p>
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<p>Yuudai placed his palm on his forehead, brushing some strands of hair out of his sight. He stared at his reflection.<br/>“You’re in love with Mako.” He quietly whispered, before swallowing – his gaze fixed on the mirror. He kept looking at the mark, as this knowledge sank in. </p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>How ironic, Mako.</em> <br/>After some minutes, he let out a shaky laugh. “I fell in love with him-“<br/><em>You were so afraid that I would one day love someone else and die. </em><br/><em>Now I fell for you. </em><br/>He slowly brushed his fingers over the newly formed black mark. “I’m sorry.”</p>
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<p>Back in his bedroom, Makoto slowly came to his senses – trying to open one of his eyes – still half asleep. <br/>He was all sweaty; he immediately sensed it – wrinkling his nose in disgust.  <em>There are two blankets…</em><br/><em>Oh right. My fever got worse last night.</em><br/><em>The medication didn’t work but-</em></p>
<p>All of a sudden he remembered it. <br/><em>“I won’t leave you.”</em><br/>His best friend’s arms had been wrapped tightly around him, trying to ease the pain he had been going through. </p>
<p>Yuudai had cuddled him. <br/>A flush crept up on his face.   Yuudai. had. cuddled. him. <br/>It had felt so incredibly nice – he couldn’t quite describe it. Maybe it had been the force of habit, since they had often slept in the same bed when they had been younger, even cuddling from time to time – when Makoto was too scared at night and started shifting closer to his friend. <br/>Yuudai being near had always had a comforting effect on him. <br/>But this wasn’t quite the same as back then, was it?<br/>He swallowed. <br/>This was okay, right? Feeling this way about it. After all they had known each other their whole lives – been by each other’s side since forever. It was no surprise that Yuudai hugging him would make him feel a lot better – that it would help him when he needed it most.</p>
<p><em>Yes. It was only a hug.</em> <br/>Strangely, Makoto’s heart ached for a moment when he had tried to tell himself that lie. </p>
<p>He didn’t have time to think about it further though, since suddenly, he heard the bathroom door open. <br/>Makoto froze in place for a moment. <br/><em>Get a hold of yourself- </em><br/>He cleared his throat. “Yuu?”</p>
<p>Some moments later, Yuudai peeked at him through the open door. “Mako-“ He bit his lip. “You’re awake already.”<br/>“Y…yeah.” Makoto averted his gaze to the ground. He didn’t want his best friend to see the blush probably still lingering on his cheeks. <br/><em>Should we…talk about that? </em><br/><em>No. No, it was just a hug.</em> <br/><em>Don’t make this awkward.</em> </p>
<p>“I’m feeling much better now.” Makoto whispered quietly. <br/>Yuudai tensed up a little – he could see it out of the corners of his eyes. <br/>“I’m glad. Your fever was pretty high last night.” His voice was shaking slightly. </p>
<p>“Thank you.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Yuudai’s eyes widened at Makoto’s sudden words. <br/><em>Does he mean for-</em><br/>The blonde turned to the side, trying to hide his reddening face. “You don’t have to thank me.”</p>
<p>Silence fell over the room, the two boys awkwardly staring at the ground, avoiding each other. </p>
<p>Yuudai started to think about his timer. <em>I have to tell him.</em> <br/>The boy drew his lower lip between his teeth. <em>But not now. Not when he’s still not fully recovered-</em> </p>
<p>“Makoto, you-“</p>
<p>A sudden knock interrupted him. They both turned their heads, startled at the sudden visitor at this early hour. <br/>Then Makoto remembered, “Ayano-  She had told me that she would bring breakfast.”<br/>He stared back at his best friend who was still standing at the door leading to the hallway. Yuudai nodded instantly, “I’ll let her in, just stay in bed.”<br/>“Thank you, Yuu.” Makoto’s fists were clenched, hidden away from the other’s eyes beneath his blanket. </p>
<p>
  <em>He just called me by my full name. He hadn’t done that in forever. </em>
  <br/>
  <em>Why?</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Yuudai moved to the door quickly, he knew that Ayano would just knock even more aggressively if they would make her wait. He sighed. That’s just how she is. <br/>For a short moment he thought about Makoto’s face – the way he had been looking at the ground. He didn’t know if he had just imagined it, or if his best friend had still been feverish – but for the blink of an eye Yuudai thought he might have seen the other blush slightly. <br/><em>I have to tell him eventually. </em></p>
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